conflicted

I'm in DC for the first time in a month.  I've actually been here for a few days, and am leaving tomorrow.  It's been an unusual trip, but a good time nonetheless.  Tonight Alex and I went to the Lady Gaga concert, which was pretty awesome.  A great ending to a great trip.  Tomorrow I'm going in with Alex to my most recent former place of employment, where I hope to see some colleagues and friends.

The title of today's post comes from my current state of emotion.  I was asked several times while here if I missed DC.  I've given that particular topic a lot of thought, and have decided that no, I do not miss DC.  I do miss the friendships I have developed here over the years, and of course my parents in Baltimore whom I was also fortunate enough to see during this visit.  I do not, however, miss Washington DC.  When I first moved to DC, a friend was on his way out.  When asked about the reason he was leaving DC (beyond simply a job move), he said "you'll understand eventually."  I do, now.  DC is a great city, but there's something about it that I either no longer can tolerate or have need for that I do not yet understand.  I'll have to meditate on that a bit more, but preliminarily I think that part of the reason lies with the great density that surrounds everyone all the time when they are in a big city.  Perhaps it is the bigger question of urban vs. rural.  Or the old East Coast vs. West Coast argument (well, in my case, East Coast vs. Southwest).

After having lived in Annapolis, Baltimore, Germany, Washington DC and now New Mexico, I can say that the first four are quite similar but have subtle differences.  New Mexico feels like it could be the moon compared to the higher density urban living that my other places of residence offered.  I like it a lot, but it would be really hard to say that I preferred one location over another in this case, because there are not so many common elements shared between the two geo-social locales (I made that word up, lest one tries to look it up and is unable to find it).

As I bid a fond farewell to the gleaming marble towers and busy streets of Washington DC for the red rock and wide mesas of New Mexico, I find myself looking forward to feeling the warm breeze in my hair and the gentle sun on my back.  I love my new home, which has embraced me with open arms.  I am also glad that I have DC as a good friend, keeping the light on until I come back again to visit.